For Godzilla's sake...

Get it right this time, guys. It's the least you can do for the Big G, and my 900th post. Don't screw it up as royally as you did in 1998, with a movie and monster so poor Toho spoofed the whole thing in 2004's Godzilla: Final Wars. With that studio giving Godzilla a rest it's incumbent that you do the following:

1) Use the original character with the original look;
2) Don't waste time on some half-assed origins story;
3) Don't use a comic/romantic relief interest who's never heard from again;
4) Don't use any romance, period. Some comedy, OK;
5) If Nineties perpetrators Roland Emmerich and/or Dean Devlin show up with "advice," show them the door, or better the window;
6) Bring in Rodan, Mothra, etc., from the get-go. Give Godzilla an opponent, something to be Godzilla against.
7) Just let me write the damn thing. Maybe direct it, And star in it, too. I'm big and tall...who needs CGI, just put me in the suit and let's rock.

The maligned Manhattan Bridge

The Manhattan Bridge is my lifeline to the "Big City," but it's celebrating its sort-of centennial without party hats and "Auld Lang Syne." The span has an image problem, exacerbated by its portrayal in the movies. On film, the Brooklyn Bridge is host to romances, high drama, and spectacular cataclysm (think the U.S. Godzilla reboot, or Cloverfield), while the Manhattan Bridge inspires...suicides. Think The Lonely Guy, where lonely guys like Steve Martin and Charles Grodin consider taking the plunge; or Luv, where Jack Lemmon does the same; or 1961's Something Wild, where Carroll Baker nearly ends it all, only to meet a stranger fate in the arms of rescuer Ralph Meeker.

I'd think about offing myself, too, if I walked across or biked the bridge on a rainy bad day, as I squeezed my frame along its narrow pathways while the N and D trains rumbled by noisily. On the other hand, the view from the trains is a treat, taking in the Statue of Liberty (and the scene-stealing Brooklyn Bridge) and a nice sliver of Chinatown as it descends into Manhattan. Someone should film that and uplift the bridge's profile.

As we ring in the New Year, may your prospects be Brooklyn Bridge, but remember that those Manhattan Bridge days build character. And the news isn't ever all gloomy: Sergio Leone gave the Manhattan Bridge a shot at immortality with an iconic Water Street view in 1984's Once Upon a Time in America.

Larissa meets Godzilla

It's been five long years since a new Godzilla picture, so I'm posting this to let Toho Studios know that I'm prepping the next generation of fans. That's mom holding the Big G. (Larissa has my plastic model to chew on, but it's not as cuddly as this one.)

Destroy all monster models

Knowing something about felines, I'd say Godzilla is toast, unless he has a big ball of string somewhere on his person...